THE ODYSSEY

In 1976, it was a cold, dark, dreary night in Pennsylvania. They all are in winter, even the days. My twin and I came into the lives of our Master and Mistress. (Our mistress, of course, picked us out.) We looked forward to a long, calm, peaceful life together. Little did we know! They bought us in an after Christmas sale and paid far less than we were worth. After all, we are solid brass! My twin and I were forever separated, by being placed on either side of a monster king-sized bed. We could tell some tales, but that's another story!

I was lonely over there. My mistress rarely even dusted me. I sat there for ten long undisturbed years. From time to time my master and mistress deserted me for weeks on end.

Without warning, I was summarily packed into a box and shut up in a self-storage unit for six weeks! When I next saw the light of day I was in a townhouse with the rest of the bedroom furniture. I breathed a sigh of relief thinking my days of turmoil were over. I was reasonably content for three years. Again, my master and mistress abandoned us for weeks on end.

Then there was a ruckus when some of the other furniture in the house was packed up in a forty-foot container and shipped off to parts unknown to me at the time. There were some late night discussions between my master and mistress about the container going through the Panama Canal, somebody named Noriega and a war going on there with him. This made me nervous as six weeks in the dark box in storage had shattered my nerves. But in time I regained my composure and become quite comfortable on my night stand table once again.

Out of the blue, I overheard late night discussions about another forty-foot container, the Atlantic Ocean, the Panama Canal, the Pacific Ocean and War! What happened to Noreiga? Who is this Saddam Hussein? Where is the Gulf? In the Atlantic or Pacific Ocean? Nobody ever tells me anything! I start to panic.

Back in the cold, dark box. This must be the forty-foot container. I am bumped onto a truck, a ship and then bounced from ocean to ocean through the infamous Panama Canal. I cannot see a thing! But fortunately for me, I am not like my mistress. I do not get seasick.

Then into storage in my box again!

Emerging from my box I found myself with my old friends, the bedroom furniture, in a bright and sunny house. Out the three sliding glass doors I could see that I was on the most beautiful sunlit island on earth. Its name is Kauai. It took some time to adjust to my new surroundings, but the harrowing trip was well worth it. I could see mountains, lovely flowers and feel the soft ocean breezes. Lots of happy people were running in and out. I had found a home in paradise that I could never have imagined!

This lasted only one short year.

Out of nowhere, horrendous winds shattered all three of the glass doors and windows, and sent my night stand table and me flying out and down into the ravine. I was thrown into the back bushes, entwined in the elegant drapes that my mistress had made from silk she brought back from Bangkok. It turned out to be a level five hurricane and its name was Iniki. Stilll, I had no mortal wounds, only scratches and bruises. My psyche was damaged but not beyond repair.

I was lovingly reunited with my twin and placed in the back of the Iniki closet where my master, mistress and Auntie Martha had ridden out the storm. They were safe there throughout the ordeal of the storm so my twin and I knew we too would be all right. We sat there for eight tedious years. We began to age. We accumulated strange black spots of mold. And then rough white ones of corrosion. We thought our days of usefulness were over. We had been replaced with new but tacky ceramic lamps along with the new furniture. We thought we would eventually be sent to the graveyard at the dump. Such is the life of lamps. But we had had some good years and exciting adventures. For what more could you ask?

From the adjacent bedroom we could hear late night discussions about a trip that our master and mistress had taken to Europe. They had sailed the Danube, the Main, and Rhine Rivers across Europe on a river cruise ship (read "barge"). In a lounge on the ship my mistress had seen tall brass candleholders on the coffee tables. She thought they were stunning. She wondered if my twin and I could be transformed into handsome candleholders similar to those on the ship. We could be saved!

Our mistress waited until Auntie Martha came for her annual visit in order to figure out how they were going to bring about our restoration. At first they didn't have a clue. They started out in the garage with an assortment of household tools. After numerous trips up and down the stairs and back and forth to the garage, they formulated a plan.

The lamp harps had to go along with the washers, the screws, and the electrical cords. All the stuff that makes a lamp a lamp! That was no problem until they got to our inner steel rods. They would not budge. The master was called upon to dispatch them with a whack of the blunt end of an ax. Ouch! That was momentarily painful. Without that rod, each of us became two pieces.

Then the sanding began to remove the black and white spots. The white spots sanded smooth but the black ones were there to stay. As my mistress said, like liver age spots. They swept away the dust with a toothbrush. Next came a turpentine bath. That smarted! We were then sprayed with gold paint and voila! We looked like new! Well, almost. We had been rejuvenated!

My twin had to be rejoined with liquid steel. My mistress found a dandy three-inch by six-inch candle for his top at Wal Mart. He is now happily sitting on the hearth of the fireplace. He is once again decorative and useful. He has found a permanent home. He likes being in the living room. There is more action going on in that part of the house now than in the bedroom.

Me. This makes me a little nervous because I have never flown on an airplane before. I am going to live in the two different homes of Auntie Martha's daughters. After Noriega and the Panama Canal as well as Saddam Hussein and the Gulf War, I hope this journey doesn't start World War III!!! I am told that my two pieces will go to make two new families happy. I will hear the joyous laughter of children.

The traumas that I have been through have left their scars but I am sure with some TLC, I will fulfill my destiny. My hope is to serve with distinction for many more years.